WELCOME TO 2014!
Brooklyn Nets New Year’s Resolutions

Joe Johnson, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Deron Williams, Brook Lopez
Well… (AP)

Mikhail Prokhorov

Mikhail Prokhorov
Mikhail Prokhorov (AP)

RESOLUTION: Fly your private jet into Brooklyn and land on the roof of Barclays Center. Drop from the rafters the same way the BrooklyKnight did, except do it during the middle of a game. Land on the court in the middle of play, cut the lights off, and remind the franchise of your total control. Whatever you do then is up to you.

HIGH POINT: “I came to keep the lights on.”

LOW POINT: His conspicuous absence, both in the media and in the United States, since the team started losing. Where is he?

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Full List:

Alan Anderson | Andray Blatche | Reggie Evans | Kevin Garnett | Joe Johnson | Andrei Kirilenko | Shaun Livingston | Brook Lopez | Paul Pierce | Mason Plumlee | Tornike Shengelia | Tyshawn Taylor | Mirza Teletovic | Jason Terry | Deron Williams | Billy King | Mikhail Prokhorov | Jason Kidd |