Nets-Raptors: 3-on-3


"All Aboard!"

One final 3-on-3 breakdown to close out the season…

1. Plainly: Why should Nets fans watch this game?

  • Justin DeFeo: For no other reason than because it is their last ever game as the New Jersey Nets. Whether this team has caused you endless amounts of joy or brutal amounts of despair, a significant chapter of NBA history is closing tonight and you may as well be there to witness it.
  • Chris Hooker: They shouldn’t. They should instead watch a much more exciting and interesting NFL Draft that not a single ESPN analyst has been able to confidentially predict past the second pick. In all my years watching the draft, I have never seen a bigger mystery of a first round. And I know that this is a Nets site, and I should be a bit more positive, but, both of these teams just want this game over and there are better sports events on tonight. So, I will be tuning in for the first hour to see the comedy gold in DeShawn Stevenson at the four, and then turning the channel and praying my Bills get Matt Kalil.
  • Devin Kharpertian: Because… well.. this is it. There’s no more New Jersey Nets basketball after tonight. Sure, we said our goodbyes to the Rock on Monday, but the team as functioning still exists. Not to mention that they share an identical 22-43 record with their Toronto opponents, and this loss could swing draft seeding by a wide margin. Who doesn’t love a good ol’ fashioned trip on the Tank Express? CHOO CHOOOOOOO!


2. Can the Nets break 85 points?

  • Justin DeFeo: It’s going to be a struggle that’s for sure. Given that the lots of the Nets firepower will be sitting out tonight and the motivations for these teams to “win” the game are perhaps in question, I would not predict a high scoring affair.
  • Chris Hooker: Nope. The Nets have three guys who can shoot the ball, two of whom (Brooks, Morrow) have been pretty inconsistent the past few weeks and one (Green) who probably won’t score forty. If they do exceed eighty-five, it would be more about Toronto’s defense than it is about Brooklyn’s offense. Bam, just officially made the switch and I am not looking back.
  • Devin Kharpertian: No. Not a chance. Not in an overtime game. Are you serious? Look at this starting five: Sundiata Gaines, MarShon Brooks, Gerald Green, DeShawn Stevenson, Jordan Williams. Let me predict this one for you: Gaines goes 4-11, Brooks 8-19, Green 8-17 (with dunktasticness), Stevenson 1-9 (1-8 from deep), Williams 3-5. Petro gets at least 11 FGA, and he’s too much of a wild card. Morrow and Johnson split some combination of 5-11. Add in some free throws and three-pointers, and that’s maybe 70 points. Maybe.

    (Cue the Nets scoring 120 points in a blowout victory in 3… 2…)


3. And the winner is…

  • Justin DeFeo: Toronto? Going to guess the 1-4 pick and roll being run by Sundiata Gaines and DeShawn Stevenson will not be highly effective.

  • Chris Hooker:I am not the type to root against their team for the sake of draft picks, but, in the final game where neither team gives two damns, I don’t feel bad about rooting for the Raptors. I am picking Toronto strictly because I want them to win, help out Brooklyn’s draft stock and pray for a little Unibrow luck. Because in all honesty, who knows how either of these teams are going to look tonight? Both aren’t playing any key starters and both weren’t very good teams to begin with. Go Raptors!
  • Devin Kharpertian: Toronto. DeShawn Stevenson is starting at power forward. CHOO CHOOOOOOO!

Thanks to whoever the hell this is for the first google image result to “Raptor driving a tank.”