Brooklyn Nets New Year’s Resolutions


Joe Johnson: Eulogize Mo Johnson.

Iso-Joe needs to immediately cut ties with his deadbeat evil twin, Mo Johnson. You see, Mo the Magician has shown up at the most inopportune times in 2012 to make Joe disappear. After a solid performance by Joe in a rare December win against the Sixers, Mo showed up the next two games with duds against the Celtics and Bucks, only for the good twin to return in time for P.J.’s first game as coach.

I’m not saying JJ has to take matters into his own hands, but there needs to be a permanent solution to the Mo problem. Otherwise, we will continue to see performances from the Johnson family that resemble Newman more than Seinfeld.  And since Joe is a nice, family man, he can do his best spin job (consult the Brooklyn Nets PR department?) to save face at Mo’s funeral.

Maybe tell the story of a misunderstood magician who couldn’t deal with his brother’s success and subsequent exodus north, so he sought to sabotage Joe’s career until Mo met his final demise at the hands of a poorly bolted steel panel at Barclays?

-Will Rausch

Next: Billy King

Andray Blatche | Keith Bogans | MarShon Brooks | P.J. Carlesimo | Reggie Evans | Kris Humphries | Joe Johnson | Billy King | Brook Lopez | Mikhail Prokhorov | Tornike Shengelia | Jerry Stackhouse | Tyshawn Taylor | Mirza Teletovic | Gerald Wallace | C.J. Watson | Deron Williams