“QUIET: PRESS CONFERENCE UNDERWAY” – Jared and Devin discuss game 1

Cross Bridge Battle
Cross Bridge Battle
Which team are you on?

After a thrilling 116-113 win for the Brooklyn Nets (and Devin) over the New York Knicks (and Jared) in Game 1 of the virtual 2K13 Knicks vs. Nets Cross Bridge Battle playoff series, the two writers, err, coaches, took to the podium to discuss the game and the improvements that need to be made for Game 2.

Note: apologies for the lateness. Flights never have WiFi when they say they do.


The winner, Devin, will go first:

@JJVictory6 asks: “Im excited to see Humphries (I guess recently developed move?) he had there at the 1:26 mark next year.”

Devin: You’ll probably see it on another team.

@TheJebbHart: “So coach how do you feel about your teams effort tonight?”

Devin: WE BAWL.

@altonncf: “Coach can you talk about what Brook Lopez did tonight?”

Devin: Sure I can.

@AdamReisinger: “Talk about your strategy for defending Carmelo Anthony in this series. Would you say he’s just another player?”

Devin: He’s no different from Andray Blatche.

@jacobsmith22: “Coach! Your guys started running out of gas late. Did you worry about the outcome, and will there be a minutes change for Game 2?”

Devin: I was never in doubt, though we will have some tweaks for Game 2.

@eLonePB: “Coach, you’ve done such a tremendous job. Were you ever worried that you weren’t going to do so tremendously?”

Devin: I feel our guys did such a tremendous job. but we’ve got a tremendous amount of work to do.

@altonncf: “Coach, were you worried about Brook’s focus given Green Lantern ended yesterday?”

Devin: “He promised it would not be an issue, though there were tears on the bench. it was an issue late.”

@ScottyZ_RU :how did it feel to #FreeMarShon?

Devin: “We’re not done freeing him yet.”

@eLonePB: “Coach, the Knicks put a good run on in the fourth. Do you think Lebron flopped?”

Devin: “You’re trying to get Virtual Stern to fine me, too?”

@AdamReisinger yells out in the middle of the press conference: “The key to the virtual Knicks-Nets series between @JADubin5 and @uuords is who hacks the rosters to add a created superplayer. #analysis

@Keysta101: “Coach Kharpertian, what role will MIrza Teletovic play in this series…is he your secret weapon???”

Devin: “No.”

*Devin leaves the press room, sticking his tongue out as Jared enters* *Security must break it up*


@seth_rosenthal: “Coach. Over here. Do you understand that it is a video game and Amar’e Stoudemire is probably really good?”

Jared: I’m trying to stay realistic within the current construct of the team.

@HutchNGo: “why’d you play Ason Ki 17 mins?”

Jared: I didn’t.

@bobbob1313: “Hey coach, talk about whether your team wanted it bad enough.”

Jared: That’s not a question.

@Jared_Wade: “Talk about how this isn’t real life and what type of lift that gave you today on the court.”

Jared: This is not real life. This is just fantasy. Something something.

@Mark_Travis: “Did you go zone? 2-3 slaughters the Nets on that game.”

Jared: We played some zone.

@JordanSWhite: “Jordan White, Hardwood Paroxysm: Coach Dubin, talk about the importance of winning.”

Jared: It is important.

@bobbob1313: “Sorry, let me rephrase it: Coach, your team seemed to get out-hustled, talk about how that impacted the outcome.”

Jared: That is still not a question, Chris.

Press conference is interupted by Knicks PR says @DylanTMurphy:

“Okay guys, @JADubin5‘s press conference is over. Knicks PR only letting him answer 2.3 questions.”

@Patterson_B: “ooo coach over here! Any desire to grow facial hair to strike fear in the other team?”

Jared: I already have a beard. I’m not shaving until we’re knocked out of the playoffs, which will never happen.

@bedoya_jonathan: “why did q-rich and Novak only play 1 min?”

Jared: Q is 90 (years old, not rating) and Novak missed a dunk in practice.

@AdamReisinger: “Coach, Coach Kharpertian basically called Carmelo Anthony irrelevant (https://twitter.com/uuords/status/340215506109861890 …). What would you say about that?”

Jared: We have the same amount of respect for Devin as we do for Gerald Wallace’s jumper.

That concludes our press conference. Game 2 coming later today. Thank you.