The NBA, for some inexplicable reason, is considering putting nicknames on the back of jerseys instead of use actual names for at least one Brooklyn Nets-Miami Heat matchup this season. For example: LeBron James’s jersey would read “King James,” Paul Pierce’s would read “The Truth,” etc.
Apparently the NBA wants to remind people of the XFL’s tacky jerseys in their one year of existence.
Some players seem all for it. “Fans will like it and so will a lot of the players,” Ray Allen said. “Guys will get a good kick out of it.” For the record: Allen would go with Shuttlesworth, the only nickname I find acceptable.
I’m warming to it after a night of deliberation. It’s silly, but the NBA is a sport where giant men wear uniforms and throw balls into hoops. We can use a little silliness.
Five quick thoughts:
1) I guess now’s as good a time as any to propose we re-institute the “Spot-Up Joe” nickname for Joe Johnson. Or “Spectacular,” in honor of Ian Eagle’s brilliant call.
2) I would be shocked if the NBA allowed Andrei Kirilenko to use his patented “AK-47” nickname, considering, well, you know.
3) Deron Williams will most likely put “D-Will” on his, but if I were NBA commissioner, I’d put a moratorium on the “first-initial-last-syllable” nicknames that seem to plow through the Nets and the NBA. J-Kidd, K-Mart, D-Will, etc. We need something more creative for the team’s most creative player.
4) There’s currently a serious fight in my heart between #TokoLoco and The Tokomotive. Maybe we can just call him Toko Hitched.
5) The obvious nicknames: “Truth” for Paul Pierce, “KG” or “The Big Ticket” for Kevin Garnett, “Dray Day” for Andray Blatche (my vote: “BlatcheDon’tKillMyVibe”), “The Joker” for Reggie Evans, “JET” for Jason Terry, “A Squared” for Alan Anderson. Serious question: what will Brook Lopez choose? (I can’t believe I’m asking this.)
