Kris Humphries partied before Game 7 and we’re supposed to care for some reason

Kris Humphries

Basketball players are human beings with lots of money. This is just a simple fact. As young, physically fit human beings with lots of money, many tend to go out to nightclubs and party. Again, a simple fact. But compound that fact with being Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband and a former reality show star, and it suddenly becomes news.

According to US Magazine, Kris Humphries was seen out at Beauty & Essex in Manhattan the Friday night before Game 7 of the Brooklyn Nets’ first-round series against the Chicago Bulls, and in proper US Magazine fashion, uses the space to disparage him for it:

Timing is everything. And Kris Humphries, who recently became a free man once more after his divorce from ex Kim Kardashian was finalized on Apr. 19, should know that better than anyone. But the Brooklyn Nets player threw caution to the wind on Friday, May 3, partying into the late hours of the night despite having to be ready to go for Game 7 against the Chicago Bulls the next day.

US Magazine considers “the late hours of the night” around 1 A.M., which is true if you work a 9-to-5 job. But Game 7 was at 8 P.M. Saturday. You don’t exactly have to get up early for that. If Humphries needs to be at work at 6:00 P.M. — and that’s generous — he’s got more than enough time to sleep it off.

Humphries, 28, was at the venue to celebrate his older model sister Kaela’s 30th birthday and didn’t hold back as he “fist pumped a little bit” and showed off a few dance moves, the source added.

He FIST-PUMPED!? That changes everything. Didn’t hold back, indeed.

US Magazine goes on to cite sources who were also at the nightclub, which makes them airtight:

“Kris was drinking champagne and stayed late. He was a jerk to everyone,” another eyewitness told Us.

But another source told Us, “He left with his mother. He wasn’t out of control, he was celebrating his sister’s birthday. If anyone knows Kris, they know that family and basketball are the most important things in his life.”

“In the pros, you are not monitored, so to speak, unless you are on the road,” another source explains to Us Weekly. “It is assumed you know what to do the night before a game. But, no! You do not go out the night before a Game 7 of the playoffs. You don’t do it, period.”

I’m not sure who this source is for US Magazine, but they obviously never heard of Allen Iverson. Or J.R. Smith. Or possibly every player in NBA history not named A.C. Green.

If Humphries was spotted doing jello shots off strippers at 7 A.M. while punching bespectacled waitresses, that would be notable. But this is harmless. This entire “shame Kris Humphries” thing was old a year ago. Humphries went out the night before a big game to celebrate with his family and left at a reasonable hour for his profession. He was also hardly the reason they lost; Humphries played all of 12 minutes, 8th-most in the team’s 9-man rotation, almost exactly what he averaged throughout the series (11.9). Any other NBA 8th man goes out to party before a Game 7, and it’s a non-story. This one is, too.

And even after everything, women still seem to like hanging out with him. So power to him.