Goodnight, Brooklyn: Heat 96, Nets 94 (GAME GRADES)

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101

The Brooklyn Nets CENTER

Four tough games. Heat closed. Nets didn’t. Hell of a season, guys.

Deron Williams POINT GUARD

36 mins, 7-16 FG%, 0-0 FT%, 17 PTS, 4 ASTS, 4 RBS, 1 STL, 1 BLK, 1 TO

Attacked for two early layups, but then looked surprisingly timid, passing up a couple of open three-pointers before burying two late in the second quarter.

But for everything he did well in the first three quarters, Williams did not score in nine fourth-quarter minutes. He recorded one assist and one turnover. I will leave it at that.

Shaun Livingston POINT GUARD

29 mins, 2-6 FG%, 4-4 FT%, 8 PTS, 3 ASTS, 4 RBS, 1 STL, 1 BLK, 2 TOS

“Foul Trouble: The Shaun Livingston Playoffs Story.”

The Nets went to Livingston in crunch time with a post-up — a sneakily good play despite him not making $15 million, since he led the league in points per possession in the post — and his shot just rimmed out.

Livingston may have played his last game in a Nets uniform, but I sure as hell hope not.

Joe Johnson SHOOTING GUARD

41 mins, 15-23 FG%, 1-1 FT%, 34 PTS, 3 ASTS, 7 RBS, 1 STL, 0 BLKS, 3 TOS

FORGIVE ME JOE JESUS, FOR I HAVE SINNED. IT HAS BEEN OVER A WEEK SINCE I PICKED THE HEAT IN FIVE. AND JOE JESUS FORGAVE ME, FOR HE ALLOWED ME TO SIT BY HIS JUMPSHOT WATERFALL. AND HE SHOT, AND IT WAS GOOD.

AND THEN WE STRAYED FROM JOE JESUS, FOR JOE JESUS AND HIS DISCIPLES FATIGUED OF HIS ISOLATIONS. AND JOE JESUS WAS LOST, UNTIL JOE JESUS DROVE INTO THE HEART OF KING JAMES, IN THE MIDST OF WRITING HIS NEW TESTAMENT.

AND WITH JOE JESUS ON AN ISLAND, IT WAS NEMESIS JESUS SHUTTLESWORTH WHO STRUCK A THREE-PRONGED BLOW. AND JOE JESUS SAID TO JESUS SHUTTLESWORTH, LO, I HAVE MY OWN THREE-PRONGED BLOW, AND I SHALL CORNER YOU WITH IT.

AND THEN THE DOUBLE-TEAM CAME AND HE COULDN’T EVEN GET A SHOT OFF.

FIN.

(Great effing postseason, Joe.)

Paul Pierce POWER FORWARD

35 mins, 8-18 FG%, 1-2 FT%, 19 PTS, 2 ASTS, 2 RBS, 0 STLS, 0 BLKS, 0 TOS

Came out to play early, scoring the team’s first seven points. Worked for — and earned — his shots tonight.

Kevin Garnett CENTER

24 mins, 1-3 FG%, 0-0 FT%, 2 PTS, 0 ASTS, 8 RBS, 0 STLS, 0 BLKS, 2 TOS

It’s just gotten hard to watch him on offense. Struggles to catch even basic passes low. Still a defensive mastermind, but can’t even be relied on for a post-up. Love his non-shooting game — tap-outs, defense — but he’s a shell.

This could be the final game of Kevin Garnett’s career, buried by Ray Allen. That can’t feel good.

Andrei Kirilenko SMALL FORWARD

25 mins, 1-2 FG%, 2-4 FT%, 4 PTS, 1 AST, 5 RBS, 0 STLS, 0 BLKS, 2 TOS

Played more minutes by the end of the third quarter than he had in all of the postseason, and did a great job guarding LeBron James. But wasn’t enough.

Alan Anderson SHOOTING GUARD

22 mins, 1-3 FG%, 0-0 FT%, 2 PTS, 1 AST, 1 REB, 0 STLS, 0 BLKS, 2 TOS

His biggest strength and weakness on the court is that he thinks he’s Joe Johnson.

Mirza Teletovic POWER FORWARD

13 mins, 1-3 FG%, 4-4 FT%, 6 PTS, 0 ASTS, 1 REB, 1 STL, 1 BLK, 0 TOS

Hit his free throws, but not much beyond that. Kirilenko did a better job defensively overall, though he had some good possessions on LeBron James.

Oh, who am I kidding. TELETOVIC FLY!

Goodnight, everyone.