For Nets Tix Promotions, Turn to the Tube

izod

In an ongoing trend since before the season started, the Nets made national headlines for their most recent “Ten is Enough” marketing effort, where the team sold $10 seats to Tuesday night’s game against the Pacers as the Nets were riding an 0-10 start to their season. The Nets were able to sell a few extra tickets with the ploy, but the team is still winless. So now what can they do to market tickets?

That’s where Nets Are Scorching comes to the rescue. Taking a cue from “Ten is Enough,” NAS has created some new marketing ploys that are adapted from the names of some of our favorite television shows of the 70s and 80s. Brett Yormark, you’re welcome to use any of these, free of charge. Just make sure you save us some $10 seats.

Different Strokes for Different Folks – Acknowledging the Nets shooting woes, the team looks to get some fresh shooters into the fold. The first 5,000 fans who come to the Izod Center on game day get a chance to take a halfcourt shot. First one who sinks it, gets to show off their stroke in Nets uniform on a 10-day contract.

Experience “Growing Pains” at the Izod – Most of us were big fans of Terrence Williams when the Nets drafted him earlier this year, but unfortunately, he’s still got some growing to do as a player. Fans in attendance get something free from the concession stand every time TWill turns the ball over. Fans get a special bonus if Marv Albert refers to any of TWill’s mistakes as a “boner” of a move.

Fill Our House, See Our “Full House” – Buy a ticket to the game, and see where all talented Nets are – by getting a tour of the tranier’s room where Devin Harris, Courtney Lee and others are treated and bandaged up. Then afterwards, you can join them on the sidelines and watch whoever’s left on the team play a basketball game.

“Perfect Strangers” See the Nets – Mikhail Prokhorov can easily play the role of Balki Bartokomous, while Bruce Ratner dons a curly wig and plays Cousin Larry. At halftime, they’ll do the “Dance of Joy.” This could also double as the “Who’s the Boss” promotion, as long as Bruce Ratner ditches the curly hair for a blonde wig.

Three’s Company – Buy tickets to three Nets games, and a Nets player of your choosing takes you out to lunch, plays hoops with you, gives you a massage and does your laundry. Wait, I think the Nets are already doing this…

Cheer with Cheers – Show up at the Izod with a cast member of Cheers, and see the game for free (I mean seriously, what’s Shelly Long doing these days anyway?). Get free season tickets if you can pull this off when the Boston Celtics are in town.

– For another writers take on the Nets marketing efforts, read CNBC Darren Rovell.

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