31) James Dolan. Outside of relinquishing power to Phil Jackson, this is the best thing James Dolan’s ever done. -D.K.
32) Jorge Gutierrez. Jorge Gutierrez just keeps staying on this team somehow, avoiding cut after cut without really ever doing much. It’s gotta be the hair.
Also, this was actually pretty sick: -D.S.
33) Cleanthony Early. I’m still convinced the only reason the Knicks took him was that when Phil Jackson inevitably choked back laughter in the middle of saying “Carmelo Anthony” in “I think signing Carmelo Anthony early to a max deal was a good idea” he could recover and think of something else to say. -D.K.
34) Cory Jefferson. I know Cory Jefferson won’t get much of an opportunity to play this season, but I really believe he can make a place for himself in the NBA. There’s a demand of athletic bigs who can rebound and play defense, and there’s plenty of potential here for Jefferson to excel in these areas.
He’s obviously not there yet, and the Nets’ crowded frontcourt probably isn’t the best place for him to accumulate experience.
Costume originality? Not so much. -D.S.
— Cory Jefferson (@CoryJay34) October 31, 2014
35) Cole Aldrich. He’ll need to fight tooth-and-nail for a rotation spot. Well, nail-and-nail. -D.K.
36) Sergey Karasev. Karasev-Kirilenko lineups: The Russian Percussion. Ian Eagle, that one’s all yours. -D.S.
37) Steve Mills. Uh, I still don’t know what he does. -D.S.
38) Travis Outlaw (in memoriam). It pains me deeply that the Knicks dumped Travis Outlaw for a younger, fresher Travis in Travis Wear since we devised these rankings, as nothing would have been more cathartic this season than watching the bad half of Tranthony Morrlaw confidently fire up dying quail after dying quail as Phil Jackson looks on and questions whether he can still achieve nirvana despite such a hilarious transactional misstep.
But, hey, at least he’s still getting paid by the Nets! -D.S.
39) Andrea Bargnani. Come back soon, you impeccable error. The NBA misses you. -D.K.