Hey... I get it. Sometimes you gotta tie your shoe. Even if that sometimes is in a professional basketball game, and it comes when Andre Drummond -- who leads all rookies in rebound rate by a wide margin -- is the guy you're supposed to box out. At least Teletovic hit two threes in the first half.
So, you may or may not remember that I did the most ridiculous thing I've done on this site last week; after a lengthy discussion on Twitter, I wrote up a deep comparison casting different members of the Brooklyn Nets as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was an incredibly important addition to basketball's analytical canon, particularly so soon after the MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference.
As it turns out, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles found my post somehow, presumably while looking up the hottest Brooklyn Nets news & analysis they could find (I mean, Raphael is spiritually from Brooklyn), and they decided to send me a surprise thank you package, which, by the way, is the greatest gift I've ever received... MORE →
MY DINNER WITH ANDRAY
in a film presented by
THE BROOKLYN GAME
[Mark Ginocchio is walking along Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn, NY. On the right is the Atlantic Terminal mall and across the street is the Barclays Arena. We hear his voice commenting the action, as a narrator would. This narrating voice will be labeled MARK’S NARRATION to distinguish it from Mark’s actual words within the story]
... MORE →
“It’s bad enough when he does it at home, but when we’re all playing in somebody else’s arena, it embarrasses us in front of the other team,” said Nets forward Gerald Wallace, adding that on several occasions he’s caught Williams drooling all over the ball while leading a fast break. “Not only is it gross, it’s just rude. We’re all trying to play basketball here. We don’t need to see that. Did his mother or high school coaches not teach him anything?”
Williams now has a nice conversation starter with Glen Davis, in case he was ever worried about running into him at a cocktail party.
I hope you all know that The Onion is satire.