The Brooklyn Nets will have nicknames on the back of their jerseys in one game when they play the Miami Heat this season, and guard Joe Johnson has no idea what to do.
“I still don’t really know what’s going on… Y’all gonna have to wait and see,” Johnson said on media day of his potential nickname, cracking a smile.
My thoughts: Joe Johnson feels he has no real nickname, but is too bashful to ask the Twitter world. So I decided I’d take the plunge for him. We got a lot of responses and some ideas for Joe to consider. Joe, no need to thank me (and the followers of @TheBKGame, like YOU, you beautiful person reading this post, and if you’re not what the hell are you doing, go follow it now, that link works and everything).
The Nicknames
As expected, you guys didn’t disappoint, but frankly, some of you disappointed. Let’s start with the most common choices:
Iso-Joe
@TheBKGame Iso Joe
— Bir Cisim Yaklaşıyor (@SahinAydin1903) September 30, 2013
@TheBKGame Iso Joe
— Jah. D (@ImJah_D) September 30, 2013
@TomLorenzo @TheBKGame iso joe
— fill (@Fil_2) September 30, 2013
I appreciate you guys trying, and frankly, it’s probably Joe Johnson’s most common nickname. Everybody knows him as that. But what you guys forgot is that Joe Johnson hates the nickname Iso-Joe. He doesn’t want to be in an isolation-based offense (or so he says). He routinely spoke out against it last year.
So that’s out.
Mr. Clutch
@TheBKGame Mr. Clutch, of course
— Doug Bearak (@dbearak) September 30, 2013
@TheBKGame Mr Clutch!!
— Daro CAI Ψ (@DaroQ22) September 30, 2013
@TheBKGame Mr. Clutch!
— Dewey Foley (@DeweyHaveTo) September 30, 2013
@TheBKGame Mr Clutch!!
— Deron WilliamsESP (@DWill_spain) September 30, 2013
@TheBKGame Mr Clutch
— Josh Blitz (@JoshBlitz9) September 30, 2013
@TheBKGame Mr. Clutch
— Ray Cappola (@RCappola) September 30, 2013
@TheBKGame His Clutchness/ Mr. Clutch
— Jibran (@_JibbyJibJab) September 30, 2013
I’m not going to lie to you: this one did not cross my mind, but way more of you said “Mr. Clutch” than any other nickname. It’s kind of cool, but my issue is that it’s a bit too bland. It doesn’t have any creative flavor, and Johnson already gets enough criticism for bland isolation play. It’s not “The Truth” or “Big Ticket.” “You might as well call him “Mr. Good At Basketball.”
Also, His Clutchness is too close to His Airness for even Gerald Wallace to allow.
Big Shot Joe
@TheBKGame Big Shot Joe
— Cliff Paul (@realest2everdo) September 30, 2013
Robert Horry on line one with a lawsuit. Something Cliff Paul should know a lot about.
Ankle Breaker
@TheBKGame ankle breaker…you Paul would mind that lol
— Arnaldo Reyes (@domininaldo1981) September 30, 2013
He absolutely would, as would every single one of my created players nicknamed the exact same thing in NBA2K. For those of you unaware: Kevin Harlan may be able to say your last name if it’s “Smith” or “Jordan” or “Taylor,” but he damn sure isn’t going to say “Kharpertian,” so every single guy I’ve ever made in 2K gets called his nickname really awkwardly by Kevin Harlan and Clark Kellogg. Seriously, part of me just wanted to make the NBA so I didn’t have to deal with that in video games.
“And he passes the ball to -*Ankle Breaker*-! Two points for -*Ankle Breaker*-!” “You know, Kevin, -*Ankle Breaker*- really has the chops to make it in this league if he’s going to hit shots like that.”
Anyway, Ankle Breaker sounds too much like what someone bad at basketball would nickname himself on a streetball court, like me. So no go.
Not Your Average Joe
@TheBKGame "Not your average Joe" (if it fits on a jersey)
— Jah. D (@ImJah_D) September 30, 2013
It won’t.
Real+Spectacular
"@TheBKGame: Joe Johnson still doesn't have a nickname for jersey day. "we'll have to wait and see." #Nets" Would "real+spectacular" fit?
— Will Rausch (@wrausch7) September 30, 2013
From Will Rausch, one of our very own. For those of you unaware, this is the famous shot & Ian Eagle call Will’s referring to:
That was probably the call of the year, but “Real + Spectacular” should really be Ian Eagle’s nickname, not Joe’s. Because I’ve seen Ian Eagle up close, I’ve heard him talk, and believe me: Ian Eagle is real, and he’s spectacular.
Sleepy Joe
@TheBKGame Sleepy Joe
— eLone (@eLonePB) September 30, 2013
Accurate, which is precisely why it can’t be his nickname.
Ice-O Joe
@TheBKGame Ice-O Joe
— Veenomous (@veenomous) September 30, 2013
I actually love this. It’s clever — it plays off the fact that Joe Johnson has ice in his veins in the clutch, while still recognizing that his clutch play comes out of those banal isolations he ran so much last year. I’m a fan of double meanings, and this is both a real meaning and a spectacular meaning.
Still, it’s too close to Iso-Joe, so no dice. But kudos.
The Magician
@TheBKGame the Magician
— Dylan (@DMednick2) September 30, 2013
I also like this one a lot. I’ve never heard it as a reference to Joe Johnson, but the way he made clutch shots last year did seem to border on magic. I mean, shooting 10-12 with less than 30 seconds left in a game within three points throughout the regular season & playoffs combined is pretty close to magical. Only problem: there’s already a team called the Orlando Magic. Imagine if Kevin Love wanted to be called “The Raptor,” or LeBron James was “The Trail Blazer.” Not happening.
Cotton-Eye Joe
@TheBKGame cotton eye Joe (don't know why)
— alex mushalla (@BKNetsNation51) September 30, 2013
Me neither, dude.
Joe Cool
@TheBKGame Joe Cool
— tommy snyder (@TWSnyderman) September 30, 2013
@TheBKGame Joe Cool.
— PJ Velez (@nuyorican_21) September 30, 2013
@TheBKGame Joe Cool.
— Matt B. (@Matt_Beezy) September 30, 2013
This is another one of Joe Johnson’s long-standing nicknames, and you know what? It’s my favorite. I’m getting behind this. Joe Cool. It just sounds cool coming off your tongue. Go ahead, try saying it out loud right now. Joe Cool. It sounds like one of those old-timey baseball nicknames without sounding archaic or dated.
Also, I’m glad to get behind anything that connects professional basketball and Snoopy.
Any more ideas? Leave them below.
