“It’s bad enough when he does it at home, but when we’re all playing in somebody else’s arena, it embarrasses us in front of the other team,” said Nets forward Gerald Wallace, adding that on several occasions he’s caught Williams drooling all over the ball while leading a fast break. “Not only is it gross, it’s just rude. We’re all trying to play basketball here. We don’t need to see that. Did his mother or high school coaches not teach him anything?”

Williams now has a nice conversation starter with Glen Davis, in case he was ever worried about running into him at a cocktail party.

Read More: The Onion: Nets Ask Deron Williams To Close Mouth While Dribbling

I hope you all know that The Onion is satire.