OKAY FINE I’M PANICKING: Kings 107, Nets 86 (GAME GRADES)


Jason Terry POINT GUARD

Gets an F for flopping against Greivis Vasquez in the fourth quarter, then getting a technical in the fourth quarter for going after Vasquez, then arguing that he deserved a foul. The Nets, who were making one last run, never came close again.

Mason Plumlee CENTER

Gets an F for not taking a shot in his first 16 minutes and having a name that should never have left the Kurt Vonnegut midwestern novel it came from.

Paul Pierce POWER FORWARD

Gets an F because of an aggressive first half that had a painful result more often than not. Nice dunk though.

Shaun Livingston POINT GUARD

Gets a C for being the only player in the fourth quarter who played like a professional basketball player.

Andrei Kirilenko SMALL FORWARD

Gets an F for not bringing his back tattoos on the road trip.

Kevin Garnett POWER FORWARD

Gets an F for shooting 2-9 against the worst defense in the league and having no discernible defensive impact against a team that has one offensive-minded big man.

Alan Anderson SHOOTING GUARD

Gets an F for missing three threes and doing nothing of note otherwise.

Deron Williams POINT GUARD

Gets an F for only looking solid on the floor with another point guard sharing the load in Shaun Livingston and for throwing away silly turnovers that led to fast-break points.

Joe Johnson SHOOTING GUARD

Gets an F for looking more like Iso-Joe than Sniper Joe and getting wrecked by Marcus Thornton.

Brook Lopez CENTER

Gets an F for … well, he doesn’t really deserve an F, because he converted shots at the rim, played a solid defensive game at the rim, and DeMarcus Cousins did most of his damage without Lopez as his defensive assignment. But it’s well after midnight EST and this team has gotten wrecked as a collective whole by the 1-5 Sacramento Kings, so to the losers go the spoiled.

Andray Blatche POWER FORWARD

Gets an F for being Bad Blatche all game long, firing 20-footers and traveling like he was still on the team plane.

Reggie Evans POWER FORWARD

Gets an F for, despite his energy and aggressiveness, his inexplicably, impossibly deficient offensive game.

Mirza Teletovic POWER FORWARD

Gets an F for fouling Isaiah Thomas with 29.5 seconds left on a basket Thomas made and extending this awful excuse of a basketball game just a few ticks longer, and finishing this game, like this game grade post, with a perfectly Teletovician airball.